


Five Times Braxiatel Wished Someone Had Not Found Out About His Ancestry, And The Time He Did Not Mind

by Irving-Braxiatel (Elycia7)



Category: Bernice Summerfield (Big Finish Audio), Gallifrey (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 05:44:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15527382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elycia7/pseuds/Irving-Braxiatel
Summary: A slightly self indulgent fic, exploring the concept of half-human Braxiatel, and how different people throughout his life reacted to finding out.It's set in a variant of mine and thejabberwocki's Evil AU verse but no prior knowledge of it is needed.





	Five Times Braxiatel Wished Someone Had Not Found Out About His Ancestry, And The Time He Did Not Mind

**Author's Note:**

> As mentioned in the summary this is set in an AU of mine and thejabberwocki's evil AU, creatively named Not Evil AU.  
> In Not Evil AU Romana and Braxiatel allied politically shortly after Romana's return to Gallifrey. Feeding off one another's ambition Romana becomes president much sooner, and appoints Brax as her chancellor. But before that happens the two of them fell in love. Right before the events of Key2Time happened Romana decided t ask Brax to marry her, and he agreed, not knowing that she was dying.  
> Things happened in the same order as in canon, but where Evil AU and Not Evil AU differ is that the Doctor realised Brax and Romana were a bad influence on one another, and before they had to leave at the end of Zagreus they made Romana realise that she was losing herself to her own ambition. That meant events happened somewhat close to canon, with the added element of Romana (and by extension Brax) trying her very best not to turn evil.  
> Brax isn't usually half human in this AU, but I wanted to explore that as a concept, and since the Romana part of this fic is what came to me first it just sort of happened this way.  
> The only thing that is really important for this fic is that Brax has let Romana in on his schemes though, and also that they're married.

**_1\. Himself_ **   


Irving Braxiatel was a smart child. He had worked this out at quite a young age and, as smart children are wont to do, used it to his advantage as often as he could.

Being a smart child, he had worked out a lot of other things. His family was important, and thus he was important. They had influence where others did not. Resources and opportunities most could only ever dream of. They were different than most others on the planet. And  _ he _ was different from most others. 

His tutors scolded him for sleeping so much. He did not know how not to. He slept at night, just fine, but was still tired in the morning. He did not have the same control over his body as his peers did. Some had already learned how to stop one of their hearts, while he had trouble with even something as basic as using his respiratory bypass. 

So he did, as smart kids everywhere have always done, and pretended to be okay. If no one noticed he was not normal then no one would look down on him for it. If he could trick his tutors and cousins into thinking he was just like everyone else, then it would all work out in the end.

Only, he would later learn, they all knew already. 

He was thirty when someone told him. 

Unlike others he has a mother and a father. Not just cousins. People who claimed him as theirs. And one day, when he was nearly thirty, his mother sat him down. 

She told him a tale about a woman on a far away planet. She lived a normal life, though normal in this case would have been very foreign to him indeed, until one day she met someone. A Time Lord. The two became colleagues, then friends, and finally lovers. And when it was time for him to return to his people he asked her to come with him. 

The alien and the time lord loved one another a great deal. He made sure she was accepted into his family, so she would be happy with him. And for many years they  _ were _ happy together. But in time they began to feel an absence. There was no one like the alien on the planet, and both of them had always loved children. 

So they made one of their own. Meticulously combined their genes,  _ no dear that doesn’t just mean TNA the alien had DNA instead _ , they loomed a child together. 

_ Why am I telling you a children’s story? because you are my child, of course. Now hush. The story is nearly over.  _

One night the loom told the house that something was not right with its loomling. Their biology was all wrong. But it followed the code it had been given nonetheless, and made a very special child. 

Loomlings are always smaller than their older cousins, and this loomling, this exceptional little loomling, was even smaller when the loom deemed that it was done. 

His parents greeted him with hugs when he arrived in the world, and promised to keep him safe. They loved him, and promised each other even if he was half alien he should never be given less than his peers.

They gave him a name, like that of a Time Lord, but also a special secret one like that of the alien’s people. They named him Irving, because on the planet where the alien was from that means beautiful, and that is exactly what he was. 

Braxiatel did not need to be a smart child to know at this point. He would later claim he took it well, all things considered. But in reality the opposite was true. 

Despite his mother’s attempts to stop him, he ran away from her. Out of the house, up the mountain, as far as he could before he collapsed. He found a cave to hide in when the rain started, and sat in their crying until he was so exhausted he fell asleep. 

A search party found him in the morning, still damp from the rainfall, hugging himself and shivering. 

Truth be told he didn’t remember much of what followed. Being outside in the cold all night was enough to make him sick, and through the feverish haze all he could really recall was his parents sitting by his bed, arguing in hushed whispers, thinking he wouldn’t hear them.

 

**_2\. The Doctor_ **

Their biggest regret had always been their arrogance in assuming they could just combine their genes and the loom would sort out the rest. 

When they made their second child they were more careful. They asked Braxiatel many questions about his health. More than the medic who visited him every fortnight did. 

Did his heart ever hurt? It was much too big for him, after all. Did he always need more sleep, or was he growing out of that? Could he describe how he sensed time? gravity? Did he have any pains he had never told them about? How many colours could he see, again?  _ Yes please count them Irving, this is very important. _

Later he would learn they had been asking all these questions because they wanted to make sure that their next child was healthier than he was.

He wasn’t jealous, as such. Yes, he would have loved to just have been able to live without worrying about pains and organs failing and doctors asking intrusive questions. He still held onto the hope that after his first regeneration this would be the case. But until then he would grin and bear it, because that was what a Time Lord would do.

Being an older brother was… something. Every time he was home from the academy the loomling followed him around, asking more questions than he knew the answers to. 

They had been made to be perfect, a proper Gallifreyan. They didn’t need a doctor every fortnight, and didn’t need to lie down every time they had done anything strenuous (the later was evident from how much they ran around the house). When they got a cold it was easily fixed and they were good as new the next day. They could see as many colours as every other proper Gallifreyan, and could feel time like it was meant to be felt. 

They were also 30 when their parents told them. But opposite Irving, who had spend every day since then trying to hide what he was, they embraced it. And it was infuriating. 

“Don’t be so glum,” they told him.

“I’m not, as you say, glum. I just don’t think you should be advertising our family’s greatest secret to all of Gallifrey.” 

They shook their head. “Come on, Irving. Us aliens have got to stick together.” 

“I’m not an alien,” he said. “I’m a Gallifreyan, and one day I’m going to be a Time Lord.” 

“You’re also human though.” 

He turned his head away. “Don’t you have homework to do,  _ Theta Sigma _ ?” 

They frowned. “Where’d you hear that?” 

“I think everyone in the academy has heard about what you and your friends get up to.” 

“We’re just having fun,” they protested. 

Braxiatel looked up from his book. “You are embarrassing our house.” 

“Irving-” they started, stretching the first vowel. “- Don’t be such a stick in the mud.” 

He shook his head. “You’re being childish.” 

“You are! By pretending to be a grown-up.” 

Didn’t they get it? Sure, they were from a high house. Well-respected, and old-blood to boot. But none of that really mattered because they were _ aliens _ . They were foreign, and would never be real Gallifreyans. Getting into trouble didn’t just reflect badly on their house, it also posed a real threat to their parents. What would happen to their mother if one of her children was caught doing something illegal? What would happen to him? Would they be exiled? Or worse… 

He snapped his books shut and stood. “One of these days you’ll get yourself into a mess you can’t charm yourself out of, and then someone else will have to risk their neck to save you. Are you prepared to ask one of us to make that sacrifice?” And with that he left. 

 

**_3\. Romana_ **

Romana was… everything. There was no other word for it. Long ago he had known her as a child. But that Romana was long gone. In her place was the most amazing person he had ever met. 

She had sought him out after her return from E-Space. He was a Junior Cardinal. Apparently she had seen his name, and his house, and had decided that out of every prydonian clerk in the Capitol he would be the likeliest to understand her situation, having at least met the Doctor. In addition she needed someone to tell her everything that happened in her absence, as she intended to  _ go into politics and change their decrepit society _ . 

Had those words come from any other pair of lips he would have laughed. But from hers (and very lovely they were too) he nodded, and invited her to stay for tea. 

At some point between bi-weekly afternoon tea and her vie for the presidency actually becoming realistic, he had somehow managed to get her fall in love with him. How he had done it, he wasn’t sure. Oh, falling in love with her had been very easy. She was passionate, kind, strong, and a genius. And she was Romana. Their meeting quickly became the highlight of his week, and he felt short of breath whenever she looked at him like so. Most memorable was the time he nearly gave himself a heart attack because she smiled at him. But somehow she saw something in him she wanted too. 

Maybe he should have told her on the same occasion he told her about their shared past, but he just couldn’t. He owed her the knowledge he had taken from her so long ago, he realised this when she first kissed him, one late night in her living room after he had spend three months tracking down that tea she bought in a market on Earth while travelling with the Doctor, and had not managed to find since. 

But his ancestry was his secret, wasn’t it? It would not affect her. She knew he had some health concerns (some of it had improved after his first regeneration, but new problems had also arisen). It would probably never come up. 

And by the time she suggested they get married, well, it just seemed like it was too late to bring it up. You couldn’t tell your fiancé (his hearts beat a little faster thinking about her like that) that you were secretly half alien. It just wasn’t proper. 

Deep down some part of him must certainly have been aware that he just did not want her to know. After a lifetime of hating what he was, telling the person he loved most was much too scary. 

So he waited. And then she nearly died, and he mourned for her, and thought he had been stupid for hiding half of himself from her. Until she returned in one piece. And again, after being made president, she was ripped away. When she finally came home, broken and weary, and it was hardly the right time. 

Then, one day, the right time did come, but far from how he would have wanted it to.

Romana sighed and rested her head in her hand, hiding her tired eyes. “I just wish I knew who it was.” 

He perked up from his own paperwork. “Who?” 

“I am working on my bill.” 

“Which?” 

“The academy.” 

Given half their living room was filled with drafts and legal texts and declarations from various foreign powers, ihe did not need further explanations. “And?” 

“My legal team found a mention of a half-human student achieving a triple first some time about a millennia ago… Brax are you okay? you look pale.”

He couldn’t neglect to tell her now. Lying by omission was barely lying at all. But this… they agreed, they were in this together. Not telling her would be betraying her. Was this what had kept her up the last month? If only he had known. He had considered, almost seriously, slipping something into her tea to make her sleep, because no matter how many times he had asked her to at least try to sleep this night she had dismissed it. 

“Come to think of it, it may have been around the same time you graduated. I don’t suppose we would so lucky that you remember hearing anything about someone like that?” she asked, as he made his way over to her. 

“I know who it is,” he said quietly. 

Romana looked happy for a second, expecting him to reveal their identiy, but frowned when the silence stretched between them. “Tell me, then.” 

“I-” he started, and experienced the rare and unpleasant feeling of words failing him. 

Careful to keep his hand steady he placed two fingers on her temple. “Contact?” 

“Can’t you just tell me their na-” 

“Please let me show you,” he requested. 

“Very well,” she sighed. “Contact.” 

And so he did show her. He stayed to the facts. Showed her the memory of his mother telling him. Of talking to an older self, lecturing him about the way he was different, and how he had to keep this secret to himself, but he needn’t be afraid. He kept it simply. Surely she would know. Surely she would understand. 

The expression on her face told him something else. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, standing up to look him in the eyes. 

“The time never seemed right,” he said. 

“Why not? You could have simply told me when we met. You know me, Brax. It doesn’t change how I view you, or how I would have treated you.” She sounded hurt and he hated it. 

“Forgive me,” he asked, and was distressed to realise it came out as a whisper. He couldn’t meet her eyes. It would have been better if she never knew. 

She hesitated. “Will you help me? With my bill. Go before the high council and tell them that if you can do so well in the academy, so would a fully human student, or any other non-gallifreyan for that matter.” 

He took a step back. She could have stricken him and it would have hurt less. 

“I  _ am  _ Gallifreyan,” he said, a bit too harshly. 

She waved him off. “You know what I mean.” 

“Do I? Do I, Romana? Because I don’t think I do. If I am not Gallifreyan, then what am I?” His mind was screaming for him to stop, but his hearts and his mouth had taken control and weren’t planning on stopping any time soon. “I want you to say it. I want you to look at me and say the word that’s on you mind. Human. Foreign. Alien. Mongrel. Freak. Do it. Tell me. Which one is it? Trust me, I have heard every single one of them before.” 

“I-” she started, taken aback. 

And he took her hand in his, reopening their link. He wouldn’t have been able to if she hadn’t wanted it, but later he would still hate that he didn’t ask consent. 

And he showed her. Showed her running away from home after being told. Showed her being sick. Showed her having names called after him, showed her being pushed, and having his belongings stolen. Showed her sleep deprivation, and chronic pain. Showed her wanting to cry when his mother died from old age, but not allowing himself that weakness because that is not what a Gallifreyan would do. Showed her fear for the Doctor, showed her fear for himself, and for their entire family. Showed her plans thought out by the mind of a child, in case they were exiled or sentenced to death. Showed her hiding what he was so well he could finally stop living in the shadow of his ancestry. Showed her herself, how much he loved her, and being so so terrified when she asked him to marry her that he wouldn’t be allowed to because of what he was. Showed her being asked by her just now to expose himself to all this abuse once again to earn her forgiveness. 

“Braxiatel, please stop,” Romana said, and finally his mind won out. 

He let go of her hands, realising how tight he had been holding them. “I can’t do what you want from me, Romana,” he said, turning away. 

She followed, wrapping her arms around him from behind. He stopped, not hugging her back, just waiting for it to be over. 

“I shouldn’t have asked you to,” she said, finally. “I’m sorry Brax, I should have realised that it couldn’t have been easy-” he laughed hollowly at that. “-growing up on Gallifrey with everyone knowing. I never meant to hurt you.” 

He closed his eyes, and felt a strange mixture of dread and relief. “I’m going to bed,” he said. “Let’s not speak of this again.” 

Romana let him go, but then after a moment walked to catch up with him. “I want to speak of it again, Brax.” 

“I don’t see what there is left to say. You have made it clear how you feel about what I am,” he said, shrugging her off, and closing the bedroom door behind himself.

 

**_4\. Leela_ **

Watching how the Time Lords treat Leela sometimes strikes a little too close to home. 

He did his best, looking out for her when she was not present, but there was only so much he could risk. 

Romana could get away with it. She was the idealist, after all. Of course she would defend the human. He wondered what those people would say if they knew she was married to… well, half of one. 

After a night of fitful sleeping in separate bedrooms, and an embarrassingly honest conversation over breakfast, they had approached something that looked like working past it. 

Leela would never think less of him for being what he was. Why would she? No, the real mistake he had made with her was to underestimate her. 

After all, Leela was incredibly intelligent. He had never doubted it. She noticed everything. How he was different. How whenever she asked about it, Romana looked to him for just a split second as if to say ‘I can answer this if you don’t want to’. 

So one day, he had asked her to his office, and he told her everything. She listened patiently, and when he was done argued with him for several minutes, and finally stormed off. 

He had been left stunned for several minutes, before he returned to work, understanding that Leela usually needed space to deal with her emotions. 

When he returned home that evening, Leela and Romana were sitting together in the living room.  

“Romana. Leela,” he greeted. “I was hoping to speak to you.” 

“I do not want to speak to you,” Leela told him. 

Romana sighed. “Leela.” 

“What?” she asked. “Romana you were not there. You did not hear him.” 

“No, But I hardly think this is fair.” 

He sat down opposite the two of them. “Leela, please. Tell me how I have insulted you.” 

She looked at him, with such fervour in her eyes he couldn’t help but think that if he really had been the icicle as his academy peers had called him, he wouldn’t have just melted under her gaze, he would have gone straight for evaporation. 

“You are embarrassed of being human. You think it is something dirty, to be hidden away,” she accused. 

He hesitated. Yes, yes he did. But perhaps, less now, for meeting her. He had known other humans, of course, but Leela frequently took up a space in his and Romana’s bed. She knew him. Certainly he had never thought her lesser for being human. 

“I am embarrassed, yes,” he agreed. “But I don’t think there is anything wrong with being human.” 

“You told me to keep it secret, because you did not want anyone to know,” she reminded him. 

He chose his next words carefully. “There is nothing wrong with being human, but there are those who would believe that I should not hold the position I do if they were to find out what I am.” 

When she did not speak he sighed, and continued. “Please, Leela. You must understand. I in no way think you or any other human should be ashamed of what they are. You know Gallifrey, Leela. I’m certain you can Imagine growing up here as a human. I won’t deny that I wish I were fully Gallifreyan. But the fact of the matter is that I am not, and nothing any of us do will change that. I have accepted it.”

Perhaps it was his words, or perhaps the earnest tone in which he said them. 

“You take no pride in who you are. You should,” she told him. 

“Perhaps I should. It might affect Romana’s career, and it would certainly ruin mine. Everything we have done to let off-worlders come to Gallifrey would have been for nothing.”

“I do understand this,” Leela said. “But I do not think you should be ashamed. How do you know that you do not hate what I am as much as you hate what you are?”

**_5\. Pandora_ **

It was agony. If there was any other word to describe it, well, then he couldn’t think of it at his current state. 

The choice had been simple. Face Pandora alone, let her into his mind, and hope to capture her, and afterwards leave Gallifrey forever; or let Romana die. 

He had told her his plan, and she had not approved. Not until he pointed out that because of his unique physiognomy Pandora would need more time finding her way around his mind, and it would give him the edge he would need. 

And he kissed her goodbye and they did not say ‘I love you’ in words, but they had both known. 

He had made it to his TARDIS, which had known to take him to the Collection, but from there it had all become a lot more difficult. 

He had vague memories of being helped to his bedroom, and then, of an older self sitting over him instructing him in how to keep Pandora contained. 

His mind hurt so much he could barely think. Perhaps the only thing helping him through it was the knowledge that eventually he would regain control. After all the older Braxiatel here with him was proof of that. 

But then Pandora had found out about what he was and it had become so much more difficult.  He had contained her in a section of his mind, but had not had the time to clear that section before quarantining her. He had saved what he needed to, but she still had access to more knowledge about him than he would have prefered. 

Pandora had spend the first week tearing this information apart, perhaps thinking this was the only place he had it filed in his mind, and that it would hurt him. 

“I wonder. Does Romana miss you?” Pandora whispered to him, one night when he was staring at the ceiling above his bed. “She must be lonely. How will she maintain stability without you there? Do you think she is taking care of herself? With her hearts breaking in your abse-” 

“Enough,” he snapped, the word echoing in the large bedroom. 

Pandora uncoiled in her prison, like a snake preparing to strike. “Struck a nerve, Irving?” she asked. 

Then she paused. “Oh, this is interesting. Irving. You think of it as your human name.” 

“I travel a lot.” 

“But human, specifically?” she continued. “That would explain a lot. Why your mind is so different, and your body feels so wrong.”

He sighed. “I left Gallifrey to keep Romana safe. You can’t taunt me with her.” And, of course, thinking about Romana hurt. In more than one sense of the word, of course, but primarily because it made Pandora think she could distract him long enough to break his hold on her. 

“Perhaps I can do so with your true nature, then. You have given me so little to do in here, Irving. Tell me, who was human then?” 

“I won’t tell you,” he said, as a picture of the woman in question flashed in front of his mind’s eye. 

He was certain he could hear Pandora smiling. “Your mother. I found a memory of her in here. You loved her a lot.” 

He still did. And he wish Pandora had never found out about this. 

“Let’s talk about Romana again,” he said. “You like it when we do that.” 

“She is still alive, which does make her the more interesting of the two,” Pandora agreed. “And you miss her even more. Wouldn’t seeing her again be nice?” 

“I’m certain it would,” he said, closing his eyes. “What a shame it will never happen.” 

 

**_1\. Bernice Summerfield_ **

Benny leaned against him as she reached for the wine bottle. 

“No,” he said. “Benny I do need to get up.” 

She looked at him with faux-outrage. “On takeaway and bad movie night with your best friend?” 

“I’m coming back, Benny,” he said, pouring that glass of wine for her as she seemed to be struggling with it. 

“Thanks. The bugger wouldn’t stand still,” she said as he stood. He walked into his bedroom, fishing several pills out of the pill box on his nightstand. 

Damn. He had forgotten to bring a glass of water with him. 

Only one thing for it, then. 

He returned sitting down next to Benny, and filled his own glass with Wine. 

“What’d you get?” Benny asked. 

He showed her. “My medicine.” 

She laughed, as he washed the pills that had previously been in his hand down with a glass of fine viognier. “Didn’t think you Prick Lords got sick.”

He looked at her disapprovingly. “I think, perhaps, you have had enough to drink, Bernice.” 

“Oh don’t be ridiculous. You know your people are pricks. They exiled you. Why’d you defend them?”

He smiled. “I mean because you did not realise that Time Pricks sounds much better than Prick Lords.” 

Benny laughed and nearly choked on her wine. And then, what they were talking about seemed to catch up with her, and she felt a lot more sober. 

“ _ Are _ you sick, Brax?” she asked. 

“Yes,” he sighed. “But that is nothing new. I was never well in the first place.” 

“You have to take that much medicine every day?” she asked. 

“No,” he said. “I have to take this much twice a day, and even more in the morning.” 

“Why?” she asked. “I wasn’t joking. I really thought your people didn’t get sick.” 

“They normally don’t,” he confirmed. “I suppose, to coin a phrase, I’m only half prick.” 

It took only a moment to sink in. “You’re half Time Lord?” What’s the other half, then? If that’s not speciesist to ask, of course.” 

“From you in particular, I shouldn’t think so,” he said. “I’m human.” 

She looked at him for a moment, then she laughed. 

“Benny I am telling you my most well kept secret. Now is not the time to laugh,” he said dryly. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, stopping herself. She took a deep breath, only to giggle a little more into her sleeve. 

“What is so funny?” he asked.

She looked at him as if it was obvious. “We humans have spend almost every day since we established first contact plundering, destroying, and appropriating alien culture. Our wars have killed entire species, or chased them off their home planets. We’re dicks, Brax. Which means that you… You’re half prick and half dick.” and she laughed again. 

He looked at her a moment, and then he laughed too.  

That sat there a while, catching their breaths, before Benny spoke again. “With that in mind it’s remarkable how not-an-utter-wanker you are.” 

“I do try my best,” he said, and the one-and-and-a-half-Human-plus-one-half-Time-Lord settled back into the sofa, intend on enjoying the rest of their night. 

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure about publishing this since it's set in an AU of an AU and everything. Let me know if you enjoyed it and maybe I will write more Evil AU fic!


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